Every time a new girl shows up, everyone likes her more. Mostly men, but also some women. I am not making this up, this is highly scientific. Let me explain.
It’s called the Coolidge Effect and is a phenomenon that has been detected among humans as well as other species, specifically regarding the males. After sexual intercourse, the males usually need some time before they can take another round. That’s quite normal. It’s normal here in Australia and New Zealand, as well as in Reykjavik Iceland and Labrador City Canada. Quite a universal phenomenon. (There do exist exceptions from this, where some males don’t seem to need rest between sessions... I guess they could make a career out of that as it’s quite an amazing ability.) The time between ejaculation, until the males can have intercourse again is called refractory period and can range from a couple of minutes to more than a week. This period increases with age, so teenagers can take up to 10 sessions in the afternoon, and then as they age that number will dramatically decrease. Then they will (hopefully) have optimised the quality-quantity ratio.
What has this refractory period to do with “everybody likes the new girl” and the Coolidge Effect? Science tells us that among males of different species the refractory period can in fact be reduced. How, you may wonder? Easy, by changing the female. The Coolidge Effect is a phenomenon that is seen among male mammals, where the males renew their sexual desire whenever a new female is introduced to have sexual intercourse with. The evolutionary benefit to this phenomenon is that males can fertilize multiple females. Makes sense, from an evolutionary perspective at least.
Great info! So how can it be used in our daily lives? We can in fact use this info to our advantage and welcome this natural fact with joy and some tricks. The Coolidge Effect doesn’t necessarily mean that homo sapiens males run into the arms of the next female simply because she’s new. The human being is, mostly, a rational animal that goes beyond the primary reproductive instincts. At least, let’s hope so.
Without too much hassle, everyone should be able to create some games that take us out of the routine that seems to kill peoples sex life more than anything else. With a little game or role-play, the flame, curiosity, and passion will be easier to keep alive; not only for men, but also for women.
1. Understand sex as a whole
Sex goes far beyond the “action” itself. For us, sex is everything that happens since the idea of playing goes through our mind, until the game itself takes place. I.e. all your thoughts, flirting, naughty conversations, the looks, the innocent touches…
2. Try new things
You can seriously raise the temperature by exploring new territories; such as new positions, new techniques, new games etc. Do you need some ideas? :)
Role-play: Plan a “blind date” with your partner. “Accidentally” meet at a pub/club/hotel bar or anything of the like, use a made-up name, use a made-up career and life story and create a completely different version of yourself. Even wear a wig! Flirt like complete strangers and go to a cheap hotel room for an amazing sex session with this “stranger”. Stick to your roles, and once the sex is finished you leave the hotel room and go separate ways. That makes this session to be completely attached to the person you created and this “new” person you met. At no point you can leave your role. Until you go home of course and meet your real partner :)
Bondage: Imagine your wrists tied to the bed, unable to move, and your partner being in complete control of the situation. Doesn’t it turn you on? Well it surely turns your partner on. It’s even more exciting to mix this with the roleplay, that means the “dirty-you” is simply attached to the name/person you leave behind once the session is over. A good place to start is with a beginner’s kit like this one. If you’re curious about starting with bondage but don’t know how, then here is an excellent quick-read about how start: Do you have a dark side?
Anal sex: A bit of a taboo for many, but still something that can be irresistibly fun once you get going with it. End the taboo and take a walk on the wild side by playing the “forbidden” game. Starts slowly with beginner’s toys likes this one here for example. If you still feel strange about starting with anal sex, then just use your role-play name then it technically wasn’t you :)
Do you want to know an interesting fact? 94% of women who practice anal sex are able to reach an orgasm that way, without stimulation of the clitoris.
3. Feeling sexy
The key to making others see you as irresistible is that you truly feel attractive and sexy yourself. If you don’t believe in it, then no one else will believe in it. Confidence is your shine, and attitude is what matters in those little games that translate into sensuality and desire.
Surprise your partner with what makes you feel sexy and irresistible, put on that perfume that you know that will bring out the wild and naughty in you, red passion lipstick, loosen shirt, and flirt with your eyes.
4. Make the foreplay count
Like I mentioned in point 1, sex is everything that is involved in getting to the actual act itself, and that includes the foreplay. Caresses, kisses, massages, naughty strokes and touches under the table while others are there… All this is foreplay, the perfect way to create the sexual desire. In case you’re a bit confused how to do this, then read this: You don’t know anything about foreplay
“Cliché” you might think… but if the goal is to shorten the refractory period then tantra might actually help a lot. I discussed tantra for beginners in this post some months ago which will get you started. Tantric sex is something that requires dedication and perseverance; and that, in return, offers greater intimacy with your partner, longer lasting sex, the possibility of reducing the refractory period by achieving orgasm without ejaculation (yes that’s possible).
Don’t focus on the goal, just try to enjoy the journey, which will be fun, intimate and above all satisfactory. That’s what it’s all about.
Now, do you even remember what the Coolidge Effect is? Or are you just thinking about that bondage play you’re dying to try? :)